Overcome Fear Of Intimacy - Enjoy Your Closeness

Do you ever feel like something is holding you back?

Do you find that you 'get in your own way'?

Is real achievement constantly just out of your grasp?

Fear of success may sound like a strange idea, but many people can identify with the feelings above.

However hard you try, something always gets in your way to spoil your focus, destroy your motivation or undermine your confidence.

Old patterns can trip you up

The unconscious mind is a strange beast. Part of its job is to keep you safe, and if it perceives a threat it will remember it so that if it sees a similar pattern again in the future, it will make you scared again.

Over time, this can cause problems because what was once a threat may no longer be. Or it might have got it wrong first time.

A fear of success may have come from all sorts of experiences, and the cause really isn't important. What's important is getting rid of it.

Does the fear of being rejected fill you with painful dread?

Does stop you from doing what you really, really want to do?

Why are we so worried about being accepted?

It's deeply natural and human to want to be accepted and liked by other people. Human beings are social creatures, who evolved in small tribes where it was absolutely essential to be on good terms with other members of the tribe.

Tens of thousands of years ago, if you were rejected by your tribe for some reason, and thrown out to fend for yourself, you would be very likely to meet a speedy end.

In those long ago and dangerous times, your physical survival was very strongly linked to how well you got on with those around you. You needed the full acceptance of everyone if you were to live.

So you had to nurture your relationships with others, take part in group activities, do your bit, and help others do theirs. That's why it makes sense that we all still have a deep primal instinct that it is really important to be accepted.

But...

Does even the thought of standing up in front of an audience bring you out in a cold sweat?

Do you dread the idea of being called to speak in public?

You are not alone. Surveys of people's worst fears consistently rank giving presentations and speeches in the number one position. More frightening than jumping out of a plane at 20,000 feet. Into a swamp full of man eating alligators.

Why is public speaking so frightening?

Ridiculous, isn't it?

Is fear of failure the one great big ogre blocking your way?

Are you unable to act because of the thought of how 'terrible' it would be to 'get it wrong'?

What is it you really want - or need - to do? Maybe it's something to do with your work life. Maybe you need to take a step forward in your career, or even change career.

Perhaps it's a personal thing - like asking a certain someone for a date, or having a difficult conversation, or just getting more out of life.

We all know that dogs should be respected but an undue fear of dogs can be a real problem.

A strong fear - or phobia - of dogs can make the most pleasant walk fraught with anxiety. Hearing a dog bark can cause immediate panic and a powerful urge run away.

Of course, some dogs will take this as an invitation to play and chase you, which makes the situation even worse.

What causes dog phobia?

Fear of commitment is like a cruel negative voice inside your head.

It's constantly whispering to you about your choices. It might be about your relationship choices. Or it might even be about something as trivial as deciding which restaurant to go to.

This fear is the bugbear of decision making in general. Why? Because it constantly ambushes you with a 'what if?'